Endo Frustration

Struggling bad today. Having a hard time dealing with the fact that Endo sucks the life out of me. 

I am just so frustrated today. I looked up specialist in my area (3 states) and I found 2 great surgeons (same practice) that specialize in Endo BUT still no GYN that specializes in it. I'm over it and just want to live a normal life again. 

I feel stuck, tired, annoyed, sad, frustrated, alone and just plain old damaged. 

I'm tired of pretending to feel okay and look okay when I feel like crap. Fake! I'm fake! 

Things hurt ... I go to the MD and sound like a hyperchondriac. "There's nothing seen on this test, your labs are good, take this pill." 

No damnit. That little pill is not a solution. It's a "holding" until the next plan that we never see eye to eye on. This is with 2 MDs (GYN and fam MD). I don't want pills. I want to fix the issue and feel better. Please! 

I follow a damn diet to a T, I do good for my body, I try so hard to comply with medical bs I don't want to do because I'm over crying. 

I advocate for me and every other poor soul dealing with this. I pray. I hope. Yet, here I sit suffering. I don't have much more to give. 

I'm don't ranting now.