The avid mind of an anxious moment
Mind is racing a million thoughts a minute...yet, can't just focus on one. (That pain in my leg is a blood clot, my chest hurts...it must be a heart attack, my head is killing me...is it a stroke? Brain tumor?, my stomach hurts...is it my organs failing? cancer? I can't eat that because i might be allergic, I can't take that medicine because it will kill me, can't go to sleep because I might die from all these problems, hard time breathing...is it a PE? cancer? .... stop thinking, stop thinking, why do I feel like this? Not again). Heart starts pounding...pulse check, racing heart. If my heart beats too fast will I die? Sweaty palms...can't get a grip. The room is closing in. Everyone can see my fear. They're all looking at me...yet, there's no one here. I'm all alone. If I die will they find me? Can they save me? My chest is killing me. Is this real pain or is it panic? Should I call 911...should I go to the doctor...? I feel like I'm going to throw up. I have to poop. The room is spinning and I can't catch my breath. Help me please ... someone, anyone, everyone. Calm down please ... this is not okay. This is not real. None of it! You can do this, walk it off. You're being absurd. Walk, walk, walk...deep breath in through your nose, now out through your mouth. Repeat over and over and over. Keep repeating. Calm yourself. Pulse check, slowed nicely, you're still alive. Praise yourself. It's finally over. That was the longest 2 minutes in history. Glad it was a short attack this time.
