A day in the life of Endo

You hurt ... All over, not just in your belly. 

You cry ... Because you hurt all over and can't help yourself. 

You struggle ... Not to cry because you have to keep going through the motions of the day. 

You're tired ... From holding all your pain, tears and emotions in just to save face all day. 

You crash ... At the end of the day. Not someone else's end of day, but yours which is early .... Because you just can't do it anymore. 

You contemplate ... What can you do differently to not have this day again tomorrow? 

You pray ... Oh mighty lord PLEASE make me feel great tomorrow. For just one day I'd like to feel like the "old" me that I thought felt bad then, but have now realized was no feeling like this. 

Sleep ... Mostly great if you can stay asleep and not wake up with pain, discomfort, urges to pee, etc. 

Start the new day ... Same shit, different day. 

Endo Frustration

Struggling bad today. Having a hard time dealing with the fact that Endo sucks the life out of me. 

I am just so frustrated today. I looked up specialist in my area (3 states) and I found 2 great surgeons (same practice) that specialize in Endo BUT still no GYN that specializes in it. I'm over it and just want to live a normal life again. 

I feel stuck, tired, annoyed, sad, frustrated, alone and just plain old damaged. 

I'm tired of pretending to feel okay and look okay when I feel like crap. Fake! I'm fake! 

Things hurt ... I go to the MD and sound like a hyperchondriac. "There's nothing seen on this test, your labs are good, take this pill." 

No damnit. That little pill is not a solution. It's a "holding" until the next plan that we never see eye to eye on. This is with 2 MDs (GYN and fam MD). I don't want pills. I want to fix the issue and feel better. Please! 

I follow a damn diet to a T, I do good for my body, I try so hard to comply with medical bs I don't want to do because I'm over crying. 

I advocate for me and every other poor soul dealing with this. I pray. I hope. Yet, here I sit suffering. I don't have much more to give. 

I'm don't ranting now. 

Endo Survival Kit

I slapped together some handy pics of Endo friendly things that get me through. There's a lot more but these are my basics. I have a gluten free books im reading that pretty good and gluten free cook books too. Worth the pick up! 

I do a lot of natural food store hopping lately. Hard thing to do for a tight wad. 

Hope these help someone. Alter to your liking.  

Homemade kale chips. Recipe is on this blog. Soooo good! 

One of the great recipe books by Carolyn Levett

Another one of the great recipe books by Carolyn Levett

Yessss, need this book for great info on Endo and how to reclaim the life you lost or are losing. 

Omega 3 with DHA

FRUITS, veggies and Buddy fruits. 

Flours, green tea and a Vegetti. The Vegetti is a great way to "fake" pasta. 

Ceramic cookware because Tfal/Teflon are BADDDD at releasing toxins in your food. 

Brown rice pastas

Grown your own organic Heirlooms veggies and herbs. 

Organic smoothie prep. The whole shananger here. 

Aloe, coconut water, coconut milks, some almond milk 

Gluten free spaghetti 

Chia, flax and PB. ALL ESSENTIALS. 

Coconut oil to cook and such. 

Kefir CUZ you need probiotics. 

Buddy Fruits...great grab n go or to help medicine go down. 

Bananas and avocados. Obsessed! 

Quinoa and quinoa/brown rice mix. GRAINS are a must. 

Naturals for the teeth CUZ they matter. 

Maybe no one told you but antibacterial soaps are a no go...grab the naturals. 

E with Selenium. A must for Endo. DO NOT buy at regular stores. Spend the extra few bucks at natural food stores. All those additives are not needed. 

Brown rice pasta 

Brown rice pasta

Organic apple chips are a good grab n go 

The ones with cinnamon are good too. 

Organic/natural soaps for the body because we don't need all the chemicals in the store bought stuff. My mom sends me soap from New England and I buy some here. I have 2 others in use too. Leaves you feeling fresh. 

Fight Like A Girl

I just wanted to share that March was my first Endo “pain"and symptom free month in …………. well, 2-3 yrs that I remember but probably more like 4-5 yrs (if you ask my family). Diet change, relaxation meditation therapy, MBSR and natural vitamins have truly been a savior to me. If I could just get out of this fatigue funk I’d be great. I’m sharing this in hope to give someone else hope.

Endo Battle

Here's a little bit of my story. I have daily struggles that are real and IM OVER IT ALREADY! 

I’m going on 15 yrs diagnosed. Just a mere 19 yrs old. Diagnosed during abdominal laparoscopic cystoscopy (ovarian cyst removed). 

Been off birth control for 10 yrs with symptoms pretty standard for the diagnosis except for the past 2 yrs. Symptoms include but are not limited to: severe abdominal/pelvic pain all the time but more severe with PMS and menses, heavy menstrual periods that last 7 days or more, lower back pain, rectal pain, right flank pain (now for one month i have left flank pain) ... often mistaken for kidney issues, painful intercourse, fatigue, diarrhea, constipation, nausea, bloating, weight loss, painful urination at times, trouble urinating at times, painful bowel movements/passing of gas, painful pelvic exams, headaches, recurrent ovarian cysts, etc.  Since I started the birth control I have now acquired lumps in both breasts. Had to get an ultrasound and emergency mammogram. No cancer noted. Several complicated cysts per reports/MD. Seeing a breast specialist in a few days to discuss the "next steps" for that. Wasn't scared until they said that. 

 I’m in the “later stages” of Endo... 4 or 5 per GYN but can’t tell exactly without lap surgery again. 

I have been back on birth control for 2 months of the 6 month trial...with no break days.  If no success, next step is Lupron injection which GYN states is best because menopause is probably my only saving grace before they consider surgery. I am not down for this in any way shape or form. Surgery or Lupron. From my understanding many woman have excision surgery quite a few times. Hysterctomy does not cure Endo. Lupron has very awful side effects worse than Endo. 

I have very few good days and a lot of very bad days right now but I keep on trucking along. Getting out of bed daily sucks and that's so not me because I have a burning amount of energy just built up inside dying to get out, but I'm pooped. 

I am praying for a miracle because I know that the birth control just "masks" the symptoms. I’m being compliant with meds for the first time because my family MD has been trying to get me to take them for 3 yrs??? I’m so anti med and so go natural/herbal (the nurse in me). 

I’ve also been started on the Endo diet which I have noted a great decrease in pain but could be from pills? Maybe a combo of both.

Going to start vitamin E, C, and fish oil per GYN request. Helps with free radicals (good for Endo, breasts and the heart). 

I go to therapy weekly for “emotional” support for this and the anxiety it causes … Learning relaxation meditation which is helpful (hubby has seen less anxiety he says). 

Just trying to survive day to day and be “normal” is hard but I feel like a million bucks in my head but my body … well, not so much. I function like I have a dirty secret. I force myself to work as a nurse 5 days a week, I’m a mother to a teenager, a wife, a friend and a FT student. But you’d never know my dirty secret unless you know me well. I’m great at looking well when I feel like death inside but go home and cry in pain. I'm a fake smiler. 

Endo sucks and anyone who tells you "oh it's just period pain" should have one day of dealing with this and they'd shut their mouth forever.